There is Much to Learn From Our Differences

It’s a phrase you hear often, “learn from our differences”. A beautiful sentiment, but perhaps a rose-tinted one. Ideally, we would all learn from and love our differences. Skin would not separate us. Land would not discern us. Accent would not alienate us.

It a beautiful place to live, in the world of the ideal.

There are many people who share and practice to the best of their ability this sentiment. Everyone with a good heart would like to believe that this sentiment applies to them. They do not discriminate, do not alienate, love every life for its flickering possibility. However, that is a glossy idea. We are all holding hands in a circle singing about peace.

Truthfully, there is a discomfort in cosmopolitanism. Behind closed doors, different is another thing entirely. Different is scary, ugly, unusual. Different is uncomfortable. When we face ‘different’ it’s often with hesitation.

The people who want to hold hands and braid flowers into each other’s hair feel uncomfortable when truly met with different. In other places, people don’t wear shoes, people don’t use toilets, people eat horses. These are different, and not something one wants to accept.

The peace advocate thinks, ‘why would they do that? Is it poverty? Is it tradition? Is it choice?’ The answer is, it doesn’t matter. It’s different, scary, ugly, unusual, but it’s theirs.

The first step of learning from difference isn’t acceptance. It’s the opposite. It’s being confused and horrified.  It’s okay to feel these things. Coming to terms with different can take time, but once you become comfortable being uncomfortable, different settles next to you like an old friend.

The answer is not to meddle. We can share our ideas, our technology, our love, but we should never force them onto the other. We are not the savior. 

If their tradition is to not wear shoes, we might be disgusted, but we then must accept and adapt.

Sometimes we too must walk without shoes.

Amid feeling disturbed by difference, we look at the ‘other’, the foreign, and we recognize that while we are different, we are still made up of the same stardust. Right now, our hearts are beating at the exact same pace as someone else’s in the world, a beautiful rhythm that does not discriminate. People sometimes take that for granted.

Learning involves separating yourself from your situation, a level of objectiveness that not everyone is capable of achieving. It involves being unassuming and admitting that different isn’t wrong and conformity isn’t right. It involves seeing outside your body, not always knowing the answer, not always feeling comfortable and safe.

You may not always like different, you may try a new food for the first time and hate it. Yet you will have gained something valuable; perspective, a new lens to view the world in. While it is vastly huge, the world is still a small place, and while we all may feel like small cogs in the machine, we all have big stories to explore. 

Every encounter is an opportunity to learn. Every meeting is a possibility to show love. Once realized, the world becomes easier to swallow.